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Stumbling Toward Anti-Racism One Friend at a Time:  A Memoir

If you’re White, like me, chances are good that you have no friends of color. According to a recent PRRI (Public Religion Research Institute) study, White American’s friendship networks are 90% White, on average. Two-thirds of White people list only white people as friends. An all-White friendship network was my story from childhood until early adulthood.

I didn’t like those odds, and decided to change what my life handed me. Starting from scratch (I grew up in a completely White community which was hostile to Black people) I came to understand that I had to learn that racism/ white supremacy was a big problem.  I needed to learn the history my own experiences, that of my community and nation as a first step. And I needed to step out to make friends, real friends, who were different than me.

My book shows what I did to change my life, but not only that. I want the reader to understand my successes—and mistakes—and how I persisted despite myself.

Join me on a journey that changed me in ways I could never have imagined, above all to discover myself anew.

About the Author

I’m a White woman who has grown up with both the privileges, and liabilities, of being White. Though I grew up in a Sundown Town and had little contact with people of color, I have come to realize that racism also directly affects me and my life. I didn’t come to that knowledge without years of thought and study and taking action in small ways. One of those small ways was through actively pursuing friendships with people who are not like me. Another is informal and formal study.

In my pursuit of understanding I earned a PhD in leadership with a dissertation focus on  Anti-Racism. I took classes on racism, liberation, and society. I attended numerous Anti-racism workshops, some especially for White people doing this work.  I started leading initiatives in several organizations with whom I was associated.

But it was my commitment to making friends and building relationships that was key to my growing understanding of myself and racism in this country